Thursday 29 December 2016

Heavy burdens - تقرير عن التعذيب

E

Twice in my life now I have felt such a heavy burden that I immediately asked my mother to pray for the person concerned. That unbearable weight went away the moment I asked. I wonder whether I will able to hand things over right on into the future? That's a roundabout way of saying the unsayable.

Christmas Present - Si Lemhaf - Song about Nature and Summer I think

And - Yasmine Hamdan - Samar

ع

أنا أقرأ تقرير عن التعذيب في سوريا. كتب احد أصدقاءي هذا التقرير مع زملاءه في المنظمة أمنيستي. أقرأ عن الحياة في السجون منذ عام ١٥ بسبب خالة أمي التي في سجن ألماني من ١٩٤٣ حتى ١٩٤٥. 

--

أنا أقرأ تقرير عن التعذيب في سوريا. كتبه أحد أصدقائي ** مع زملاءه في منظمة أمنيستي. أقرأ عن الحياة في السجون منذ عام ١٥ بسبب خالة أمي التي كانت في سجن ألماني من ١٩٤٣ حتى ١٩٤٥. 



Wednesday 28 December 2016

Labour - ربع ساعة

E

19 years ago this night I went into labour with my second child. It was a beautiful process, there was no difficult stage. If I could hand over that birth to others I would, to multiply and share it.


ع

كلّ يوم أكتب ربع ساعة على صفحة واحدة. اليوم هو يوم الأول أبدأ في الكتابة عن الماضي. بعد ذلك كلّ مرّة أفكر عن هذه التجربة ويوقف تنفسي بسبب ذلك.

--

كلّ يوم أكتب ربع ساعة على صفحة واحدة. اليوم هو اليوم الأول أبدأ فيه الكتابة عن الماضي. بعد ذلك كلّ مرّة أفكر في هذه التجربة ويتوقف تنفسي بسبب ذلك

Tuesday 27 December 2016

The trans teddy - الشتاء

E

My friend told me about her Christmas decorations. There was a crib from 50 years ago, two fabric stockings her mother sewed when she was only 3 years old, and the trans teddy. He'd been given a dress at some point because it wouldn't do to have 2 male toys side by side, I'm not joking. Then once my friend inherited them she sorted him out with some male clothing after all those years. How this is to do with Christmas I can't say !!

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face - Roberta Flack - 1969

ع

لا أعرف أن أساعد الناس الذي يعيش في خيام المكسورة الباردة في ريف إدلب. هناك الطقس ثلج وبسبب ذلك حية الناس صعبة كثيراً. الشتاء سوريّ هو بارد.

--

لا أعرف كيف أساعد الناس التي تعيش في الخيام المهترئة الباردة في ريف إدلب. هناك الطقس مثلج وبسبب ذلك حياة الناس صعبة كثيراً. الشتاء السوريّ ** بارد.

** = word/s have been removed here

in red = alteration/s have been made here 

Wednesday 21 December 2016

9 Days - From My Window - Director Issa Touma

E

This short film was published a few days ago on YouTube. It was filmed over 9 days in August 2012 by Issa Touma, a Syrian photographer whose apartment in Aleppo overlooked a Free Syrian Army checkpoint which had just been set up. The film was awarded Best European Short Film award.

Journeyman Pictures
www.journeyman.tv/film/6962


Tuesday 13 December 2016

BBC World Service is covering Aleppo so closely - حلب

What can I say?
الله معكم
Using that phrase yet again.

--

You can listen to previous BBC World Service news reports on Aleppo from this link.


Saturday 10 December 2016

كان يا مكان في منطقة كولي - Mr Fox

E

I saw Mr Fox last night. I noticed a not-a-dog not-walking around a corner, flitting silently into the night. They don't move like any other creature. They don't walk, it's more like floating. The tail floats too, airy, definitely a foxes tail. 


ع

كان يا مكان في منطقة كولي في مدينة أكسفورد كان رجل الذي حبّ كلبه. صنع الرجل باب كلبه في باب بيته.
     كان كلبه كبير, فكان باب الكلب كبير أيضاً. دخل لصّ إلى البيت ليلاً وخرج بسرعة مع ماله وكنزه. هذه قصّة صحيحة.

--

كان يا مكان في منطقة كاولي في مدينة أكسفورد كان هناك رجل أحبّ كلبه. صنع الرجل بابا لكلبه في باب بيته.
     كان كلبه كبير, فكان باب الكلب كبير أيضاً. دخل لصّ إلى البيت ليلاً وخرج بسرعة مع ماله وكنزه. هذه قصّة صحيحة.

Thursday 8 December 2016

Daily posting - an idea - أنا مريض

E

The concept of NaBloPoMo was freeing. I'd like to continue with that now, but make it bilingual. I need it to be both doable and meaningful to me. Cutting out either of the languages is too harsh a move.

ع

أنا مريض مرة ثلثة منذ شهر اكتوبر. أنا في سريري  بسبب ذلك وأشرب ماء وشاي الزنجبيل وأعشاب الليمون. أقرأ محادثة حول الصحة النفسية في نفس الوقت. وأكتب باللغة العربية. وأشعر بطء في التنفس وآلام.

--


أنا مريضة للمرة الثالثة منذ شهر اكتوبر. أنا في سريري  بسبب ذلك وأشرب ماء وشاي الزنجبيل وأعشاب الليمون. أقرأ محادثة حول الصحة النفسية في نفس الوقت وأكتب باللغة العربية وأشعر ببطء في التنفس وألم


Saturday 3 December 2016

Bear Behaving Badly - برنامج تلفزيوني عن دبّ صغير وصديقه

برنامج تلفزيوني عن دبّ صغير وصديقه

نعم نعم نعم نعم

لا لا لا لا

Thursday 1 December 2016

Standing in the street - #StandWithAleppo - NaBloPoMo continues




--

Hi, well I just have to do something to #StandWithAleppo
Please join me to stand in silence outside the Friends Meeting House on St Giles at 10 am tomorrow. It will be cold. Bring a sign with that hashtag on it if you can.
10am - 11am Thursday 1st December 2016 OX1 3LW
Standing for 5 minutes is very helpful, then go on to do what you need to do.

--

#StandWithAleppo event this morning:
It's amazing being still on a street with everything moving around me, I could see the still buildings, still cars and trees. There were so many wheels rolling smoothly, all those cars and vans.
Each person walking past looked beautiful in the sunshine, each with their own choice of colours of clothing and bag. We are all so varied.
One man so obviously came from Aleppo, his face was familiar. I just knew. He looked across from the other side of the pavement to read the message instantly while walking along with his companions.
Some other people came over and confided their feelings to me. I encouraged them, said it was ok to feel like that.
I asked a few people to write their first names on the sheet and said I had a desk. They all jumped with surprise :) There was a convenient grey metal box by the wall for electricity or something, just right as my desk!
Most of the time I stood there looking straight through the buildings opposite, just being there, standing patiently, thinking.
The sun really does move fast, I saw the light start to catch the rough paintwork of a one room wide building on the other side of the street. It's my favourite house now, I'd never noticed it before. It's 4 stories, each window is different. It is well kept.
What I found out was what I suspected already, there are so many people out there who follow the news to the extent they can bear to and do care, but don't know what to do to help.
The other thing I discovered is how fantastically supportive the Quakers are, they just said fine, of course you can do that outside the building, so I wasn't on my own doing it, I had a whole building and a whole set of people behind me. I had decided I'd stand beside a tree near by if they had said it was contrary to their ethos. I also found out that the sun shines there in the mornings, convenient :)
End of report.

Wednesday 30 November 2016

NaBloPoMo - Those Facebook updates which need their own special category

Does anyone else write Facebook updates which they then censor and delete. My best ones never get posted. I decide they are too personal and too unusual.

Here's one I just deleted:

Imagine a Nativity scene under Assad..... wrecked stable, bodies everywhere, animals long eaten anyway, planes overhead, the thump of bombs....

Monday 28 November 2016

nablopomo - options if all my online efforts were scrubbed

A few weeks ago I wondered how I would react if both this blog and my facebook life were deleted. All photos gone, all the words and stories, all just small memories from those years. Oh, and my Arabic Study Group gone too, with all my contacts on there.

I pretty much immediately decided I'd start again writing day by day. Now I realise that I might take a different approach if it had all been deliberately deleted rather than an accidental loss.

Hand written note books, photos of instant art posted to other groups, performances and happenings on wooden benches in Oxford City Centre. Set up groups in real life meeting in cafes. Regular monthly parties and weekly creative workshops. Those are the things I'd turn to. Well, and join groups already in existence.

Moving into the future. Connecting with other people locally. It sounds like a very good idea. Being sad for the losses, but turning to what is possible with hope for the future.

NaBloPoMo - Post-Election of Trump - Wise, compassionate, encouraging and sober words from Iyad El Baghdadi on Twitter

From @iyad_elbaghdadi 's Twitter timeline

Build stronger communities. Build stronger societies. Invest your time and effort and faith in civil society and its activists.

The worst way to resist - ever - is through violence and riots. The absolute worst. Take it from us.

Build stronger communities. Build stronger societies. Invest your time and effort and faith in civil society and its activists.

Awaken. Realize that politicians won't deliver anything. Realize that it's your own struggle. Find your people. Organize.

Build support systems. Emotional, legal, political, financial, strategic. Build layers of support.

If they assault rule of law, do not give up on rule of law. Insist on it even more and ensure that the law works.

If they assault free speech, do not give up on free speech. Insist on it more and make sure you continue to speak truth to power.

Do *not* hate them. Do not give them that. Let them know that you want human rights and dignity for everyone including them.

Try to listen and empathize, but never ever normalize or defend or justify. Understand it, but never ever think or say it's OK.

Do not trust establishment business, or establishment media, or establishment politicians. They'll betray you for their interests.

Talk to foreign governments but do not put your faith in them. This struggle began and will end in your own society.

Awaken others. Do not let them accept this or deny it. Denial is a strong impulse and you must resist it.

Your international relations should be people to people and society to society. Talk to states, but do not put your faith in them.

Go out and learn as much as possible. Talk to everyone. Listen to everyone. Be informed on the issues.

Get inspired by others. Those who struggled against this before you, under far worse conditions and continue to struggle.

You won't beat this without courage, faith, hope, and love. Some things are worth fighting for. Some things are worth it.

Keep at it, keep at it, keep at it. This struggle isn't for the easily discouraged or the easily offended. Keep. At. It.

Reach out to those who got into the struggle before you. Say sorry. Sorry you dismissed them when they were fighting alone.

Realize that your struggle isn't only an American struggle. You have brothers and sisters everywhere and we're in the same boat.

Remember and believe that hate cannot melt hate, only reinforce it. Only love can melt hate. Make it a cornerstone of your belief.

--

Radical Hope - Maria Popova

--

Corvus - Recondite

Sunday 27 November 2016

What have I done? - NaBloPoMo

Every so often I ask myself that question

I reflect on all the things I have achieved outside my family:

The many, many emails to support other parents on HE SP

The many messages on Mumsnet to support other parents

The poetry sessions I ran

The chat times in the church on Sunday afternoons, and on Friday mornings

The chats in the street in my village

The chats at the Toddler Group

Encouraging other people to learn Arabic, I think learning is one way to start to understand

Tried to use language more softly

Shared our experiences of autonomous home education on this blog

Given plenty of feedback on others' poems

Encouragement to others when doing extended breastfeeding

All those letters for Amnesty



NaBloPoMo - you know when you miss someone

When we worked together we'd talk about why we were there. what we were achieving, what bugged us about it.

We'd encourage each other with the work, laugh about absolutely anything, create new ways of approaching what we were doing.

I'd describe our room as the whole world, our universe, the place we were making more orderly, where we were finding the beauty and chucking out the not so beautiful.

We'd welcome people in, call it our place of transformation, people would confide in there, we laughed so much.

We talked about love, who I was crazy about, what we were looking for in a partner, about the past, about the future.

We talked about the letter qaf!

We celebrated Christmas by giving each other chocolates from the box upstairs in the kitchen.

My time there was never very certain, the days would change, I even got a job over one weekend, then came back after it all fell through. His time there seemed to be unclear, it was definitely a lot longer than the original 6 weeks planned.

I'd share all my mantras which I use to encourage myself, and made up new ones, I'd appreciate the beautiful hoovering and share my project to clean the sink.

Sometimes we'd stand there and I'd speak seriously about what I feared or hoped for, looking into the distance through the shelving and walls.

Other times he'd spend all day it seemed like on his mobile, yet the work got done so fast, with no hassle at all.

I tried to sell his mug once, or was that someone else's? That was by mistake. And I didn't notice he was ill until he actually said so. Oops.

I have his words of wisdom on my white board - surround yourself with positive people - do three things each day, ie things which move you towards your goals.

So I hope you have friends, work mates, a place to live, sorted out finances, always nice, and a sense of safety, being with people who aren't dangerous and threatening, after all those years, and a future with a partner and family. Oh and fancy clothes :) I know you are into all that.

Friday 25 November 2016

nablopomo - music flowing through me

it's one of the best parts of having a teenager in the flat - my choices of music are more emotional - but these are pure energy - wow

i've gone from

Nils Lofgren -Valentine

to

Kendrick Lamar - King Kunta 

to

Louis Vivet - Nightfall

it's the best antidote to syria and my own what do i do now? problems

--

What does your music medicine look like?

Wednesday 23 November 2016

shell in my hand = عين إبني في يدي - nablopomo

I wanted to work out what i might actually say in english if i were on the ground feeling around for small bits of my son's body. i decided i'd take one of my three shells and put it on the rug as the eye that i'd find.

i sat down and first leaned on my left arm to search with my right hand, then quickly altered to kneeling so i could use both hands at once.

when i found the shell, which i had decided was belonging to my older son, sorry tom for picking you, i picked it up with my right hand on the ground, then immediately moved my other hand so both hands were cupping it down there on the rug, my left hand under my right hand.

then i immediately brought my hands up to my heart and held it there right next to my heart.

i imagined why i'd show it to a photographer/journalist, they'd be there watching everything that was going on, standing up and looking down, with their attention and gaze on me. i held it up to show him, still using both hands, and i imagined i'd say very softly and simply this is thomas's eye, not looking at the photographer, but keeping my gaze on the eye in my hands.

then i stayed in that situation, kneeling with my hands between my knees, just holding and holding, my gaze entirely focused on this, just still, aware that he'd been born out between my legs and now just one part was there, my face was still, no expression, just my heart beating loudly.

eventually i wanted to get up and leave this experiment, but i suddenly realised i didn't want to let go of the shell, so i went to do some cooking still holding it. even now, typing this with my right hand, my left hand is holding it while holding up my laptop at the same time. i brushed my teeth and had a shower, swapping it from hand to hand.

i need to return the shell to being just that and leave this experiment behind, but i'm not ready, this is about finding and letting go, and about imagination and reality. mother and son, living and outliving a child,

i'll report back in the morning

--

The point at which I put the shell down was when I wanted to check Twitter in the dark on my phone before falling asleep. I shifted into the current world.

More Autumn - nablopomo

Part of me is still at the end of August, actually part is in the heat of that day which was so hot I felt a bit ill.

Another part of me has whizzed forwards to mid November and accepts it now. Months of drama have gone by. So much has changed. So much is going on without me being part of it. I have left people behind in Oxford now, not just in Didcot.

Am I dropping my leaves? Going black and spindly, less blown about? Or so blown about I am used to it and simply say things like 'The previous water actually was used up' That's just not English. It was about the cooking this morning. By the end the cooker looked as if someone had thrown up over it.....rice boiling over :) My English went all over the place too.

A new, terrible profile picture on facebook, why on earth did I agree to put that up? I didn't want to be mean to my son because he took it, but it's shockingly unappealing. He says I need a picture of me on there, but I'm honestly happier with something else. Why are we even discussing it? Why am I even letting him anywhere near these decisions?

Look, I'm writing in English and nothing close to my heart is going to ever get said. Hmm. That's a problem.

Monday 21 November 2016

أنت مصور؟ نعم. - NaBloPoMo

--

I went out to a great art show to raise money for Care4Calais. Met a dog, took photos, was told about an open art studio place, chatted with my friend, sat on the floor, hugged the organiser...........etc etc

A guy was so enthusiastic, he told me about his latest photography project. It was going to involve very strong fluorescent powder. He was thrilled to have an audience of one to watch him open the packet and put some into a glass of water. Oh, this is my sort of party :) I did ask him to use the powder to write Aleppo somewhere. Well, I was hoping to find a Syrian poet, but I'll have to give that search a bit longer than 2 hours!! Maybe I should have stood outside the door with my ginger beer and stopped the cyclists going past. Ever hopeful :)

--

Translating from my English into Arabic is a bit of a shot in the dark. I mean how can I possibly know how it sounds being said across a room? I really do need to find someone who is a poet and speaks Arabic as their native language, and on top of that is prepared to read out someone else's stuff. That is a very big ask. Since the poem was based on a piece of news and a photo from somewhere in Syria, it might be best to be someone with that accent.

That person would have to rewrite the translation as well. Or rather, tweak it, because just one change can make all the difference when it is performed.
--


W/Right back in English and I don't care any more - #NaBloPoMo - to autumn

https://anthonywilsonpoetry.com/2016/11/21/nablopomo-16-to-autumn/

Oh, he's inspriational. Inspirational even. I still love spelling mistakes. Hallo me, I'm back :)

اهلا اهلا

That's an effusive Hallo

Autumn is the theme:

So..........

الطقس ممطر

That means it's rainy, so I have learnt something after all, apart from names of cities and things I can't put into words.


Sunday 20th nov 2016 - #NaBloPoMo

اي او نعم

سأكتب كل يوم في شهر نوفمبر...الآن يوم الاحد الاسود لان مات كمبوتر إبني, همستر أم زوجي, وجد صديقة إبني آخر


****Well, organising a Parliamentary mass lie-in all over the grass in Parliament Square might be more effective at getting attention and showing the rest of the world that MPs and Peers can get dramatic when needed.

The sister and family of a Syrian friend of mine are in a house with no basement in Aleppo. Her brother in law's house was bombed yesterday so they have moved to be with her.

This is very real. I am in a buddy group supporting him. He has been a refugee in Jordan for 3 years now. We message each other as a group through every day, morning to evening. His nephew was shelled in the summer. We dread who may be next.****

Thursday 10 November 2016

انا حزينة عن رئيس الجديد امريكي


أبحث للامل ولاسلام والأمن في موسيقى اللطيفة, لأن أشعر الخوف الآن. إبني في جامعة لندن يريد للاحتجاج على حالة الجديدة.

--

Friday 4 November 2016

جزء من محادثتي...'كيف حلب؟'


...
كيف حلب؟
...
كيف إدلب؟
...
الله معكم ومعهم
...

Sunday 30 October 2016

يكتب عدنان الصائغ بلغته الجديدة الأن

بالتفيق لك مع الكتابة باللغة الإنجليزية

--


أتمنى لك التوفيق بالكتابة باللغة الإنكليزية

Saturday 29 October 2016

Stephen O'Brien - Statement to the UN - 26th October 2016 - Aleppo, Syria - حلب, سوريا



Read on behalf of all the people who come from Aleppo and other parts of Syria and can't face the news, day after day, year after year. And on behalf of those who can't turn away and live with this the moment they wake up, every single day.

Sometimes it is easier for people who have no link with a country to stand in the street to demonstrate, they do not fear the long arm of the tyrant.

It's ok to be late to the story. Politicians feel braver I think when they know they have millions of people behind them. They can take more of a stand on behalf of others, even if they have never been to the country and can't speak the language. Anyway, I do.

Sometimes reading a message in my own language gets through in a way something written by a non-native speaker doesn't. Sometimes it's absolutely the other way around.

Share what you can with others, take a break from the situation when you have to. I was faced with Aleppo in A and E at a hugely traumatic time. I just clocked it and drifted off into our own world, but there it was carrying on whether or not we had our own emergency, facing the woman curled up in a chair and obviously about to collapse all over the floor at any moment.


Tuesday 25 October 2016

جود كاوان منتاجو - ثى وايرز - الأسلاك - ٢٠١٢

كنت أقرأ كلماتها في مقهى وكنت أسمع صوتها الغناء. أعرف صوتها من فيديوهاتها وقراءاتها شعرية وأحداثها في لندن وأكسفورد. أحبها جداً.

--

جود كاوان منتاجو - ثى وايرز - الأسلاك - ٢٠١٢

كنت أقرأ كلماتها في مقهى وكنت أسمع لصوتها العذب. أعرف صوتها من فيديوهاتها وقراءاتها الشعرية وأحداثها كانت في لندن وأكسفورد. أحبها جداً.

Monday 17 October 2016

#BellsForAleppo - #ListenToSyrians - أجراس_حلب#

#Aleppo تفعيل الكنائس في فنلندا مبادرة جديدة لاظهار الدعم لمدينة #حلب

...

 #Aleppo تدق أجراس الكنائس في فلندا يوميا تضامنا مع مآسي مدينة #حلب 

...

Tuesday 11 October 2016

أريد أن أكتب كل يوم

أريد أن أكتب كل يوم
I need* to write every day, not just want to. 
وأريد أن أتكلم كل يوم
and, more than that, I need to actually hear* it every day and copy it

bah humbug
باه هراء

Friday 23 September 2016

Tuesday 6 September 2016

فرانك جاردنر في أكسفورد يونين


 .كان رجول الذي عمل في البنك فلامنجس ,لكن أراد أن يعمل صحفي في الشرق الأوسط

.قصته رائع

--


فرانك جاردنر في أكسفورد يونين

 .كان رجلا" يعمل في بنك فلامنج ,و لكنه أراد أن يعمل صحفيا في الشرق الأوسط


Sunday 4 September 2016

My Aims for this Blog and my Facebook Group

On this blog I aim to

1
write in Arabic about personal things which have to be written, it is a version of poetry.

2
write in Arabic about my reading, about what moves me and seems to be most important about the writer's work.

3
share the music I find and love so much.

4
post the corrected versions of my texts, plus complete rewrites.

On the Facebook group I aim to 

1
post links in one place so I can find them again.

2
post planned links focusing on one theme, artist or film director per month.

3
welcome every new member by PM, then do an introduction on the main timeline.

4
be available to help members of the group a little bit with issues relating to coming to the Oxford area.

5
maintain a calm atmosphere on the group, not adding to the stress caused by the wars in Syria and Yemen, and the violence elsewhere.

Thursday 1 September 2016

نعم - انا استمع للراديو بيروت



أجد موسيكى الجديدة هناك أحيانا 

--


نعم - انا استمع لراديو بيروت

أجد موسيقى جديدة هناك أحيانا 

Wednesday 31 August 2016

انا الكون, انا الأم, وانا الأرض.


يوم السبت كنا في مستشفى ستة ساعات. هناك جلسنا معا وتكلمنا, ونومنا تقريبا, رأسه على كتفي. وثم كنت أقود إلى بيتي عند فجر وفي سيارتي عقدت يده.

--

Schiller and Colbie Caillat - You

--


أنا الكون, أنا الأم, وأنا الأرض.

يوم السبت كنا في المستشفى لستة ساعات. هناك جلسنا معا وتكلمنا, و تقريبا نمنا, رأسه على كتفي. وثم قدت إلى بيتي عند الفجر وفي سيارتي أمسكت يده.

Saturday 27 August 2016

مادايا

الان اشعر مثل عندما كان عمري 11 في غرفة جلوس في منزل والدان
اذكر يوم الساقط مدينة سايغن - ١٩٧٥
كانت امي حزين و شعرت بالصدمة
انها قالت عن ذلك لي

---

مادايا

الآن أشعر كما لو كان  عمري  11 سنة و أنا في غرفة جلوس في منزل والداي
أذكر يوم سقوط مدينة سايغن ٧٥ ١٩
كانت أمي حزينة و تشعر بالصدمة
هي قالت عن ذلك لي

--

"غرفة الجلوس"

Friday 17 June 2016

Tahar Ben Jalloun - This Blinding Absence of Light - طاهر بن جلون -

1

وُلِدَ طاهر بن جلون عام ١٩٤٤ في مدينة فاس في المملكة المغربية. ودرس الفلسفة في جامعة محمد ٥ في الرباط, وحصل على البكالوريوس. إنه شرك في إحتجاجات الطالب على الحكومة المغربية. لهذا * جندي في جيش سنة ونصف.

 بعد ذلك نشر محرر المجلة الثقافية ’سوفل’ شعره طويل. إنه كان أول نشر له. فبعد ذلك كتب مقالات باللغة الفرنس إلى جريدة ’سوفل’. عام ١٩٧١, الف تسة مئة وحد وسبعين ذهب إلى الفرنسا لدرس الطب نفسي
 في جامعة سوربون في باريس.

ثم حصل  على الدكتورات وبدأ أن كتب مقالات على/ب/إلى جريدة مشهورة ’لا موند’.

2

نشرت هذه الرواية في عام ٢٠٠٠ = الفين, وكتبها بعد محادثة ساعتين فقط مع سجين سابق مغربي الذي كان يزور مدينة باريس. إنه كان سجين في سجن تارمامارت في المغرب.

3

أكتب الآن لأفهم هذه القصة. فيها يصف الراوٍ حياتات السجناء حتى الموت في سجن دون النور. فكل حياة تكمل من موتها. وكل مرة يسمي رجل, فحقيقةً سيموت قريباً.

4

إن هناك كثير طريق للبقاء في السجن. فيصفهم طاهر بن جلون بين  قصص الموت.

There are many methods to stay sane and survive in prison. (So) T B J describes them in-between his descriptions of fellow prisoners' deaths.

5

أريد أن أقرأ أكثر عن خبرات الراوٍ بعد إطلاقمه من السجن وأريد أن أعلم عن شعوره عن تحرره.

...

The most in-depth discussion I have found is on Google Books - here

FT review
...

Oxygene - The Ocean

Enigma - 'Mea Culpa'

...
Full corrections

طاهر بن جلون
1
ُوِلد طاهر بن جلون عام ۱۹٤٤ في مدينة فاس في المملكة المغربية. ودرس الفلسفة في جامعة محمد الخامس في الرباط, وحصل على البكالوريوس. شارك في إحتجاجات الطلاب ضد الحكومة المغربية.  كان جندي في الجيش لسنة ونصف.  
بعد ذلك نشر محرر المجلة الثقافية ’سوفل’ شعره الطويل. إنه كان أول نشر له. فبعد ذلك كتب مقالات باللغة الفرنسية لجريدة .’سوفل’. عام ۱۹۷۱, الف و تسعة مئة و واحد وسبعين ذهب إلى فرنسا ليدرس الطب النفسي و الاجتماعي في جامعة السوربون في باريس
.’ثم حصل على الدكتوراة وبدأ يكتب مقالات على/ب/إلى جريدة مشهورة ’لا موند  2
نشر هذه الرواية في عام ۲۰۰۰  الفين, وكتبها بعد محادثة ساعتين فقط مع سجين سابق مغربي  كان يزور مدينة باريس. .إنه كان سجين في سجن تارمامارت في المغرب
3
I couldn't understand number 3
4 .إن هناك طرق كثيرة للبقاء حيا في السجن. فيصفهم طاهر بن جلون بين قصص موت زملاءه السجناء
There are many methods to stay sane and survive in prison. (So) T B J describes them in ­between his descriptions of fellow prisoners' deaths.
5 .أريد أن أقرأ أكثر عن خبرة الراٍوي بعد إطلاقه  من السجن وأريد أن أعلم عن شعور تحرره 


Monday 13 June 2016

?Every 7th post will be in English - this will be more like a newspaper than a post - Tues 17/5/2016? - ?or perhaps every weekend

Dear Clarissa, since you like my English posts, I might do some :) I'm so glad I met you for real last weekend.

So, here goes: one of my favourite male singers, how does he walk down the street with that voice? So soft and gentle....plus this song, given to my Festival of Love Poetry on the Arabic Study Group on Facebook.

This makes me smile so much, it's absolutely what was going on in my head when I wrote it :)

I'm thrilled with this photo of me, well laugh at me all you like, of course everyone wants to look at the demo pics and see if they look hideous or surprisingly wonderful and happy. Or am I the only vain person in the world?




For the first time in my life I am truly voluntarily wearing a ring. I am surprised at myself. One Friday I suddenly felt I wanted a small ring, looked in the box at work and found one I loved immediately. Of course it disappeared within a short time, it had an unfortunate accident... Then my finger felt instantly sad and heartbroken, again something I have never experienced before. So back at work I looked in the ring box again and found another one I must have ignored completely the previous time. Such a metaphor for The Search for whatever it is you deeply want or need. This one is:

complex
simple
modern
even
fine
curved
straight
delicate
bold
with a sparkly bit in it too
even the band is so beautiful, a continuous strand of rounded silver metal

What else:

My passion for Arabic is just beginning to return. I can tell by how emotional I am by simply thinking about it. A few weeks ago I chatted briefly to a customer at work, but then said something like I can't talk about it, I just cry and rushed off to the back room. Hopeless case. Even walking into the beginning of the Islamic room at the Ashmolean did this to me, just standing there about to cry everywhere. Then my mind went all blank and all emotions went away. All these emotional storms pass over, even blank storms, I would never have expected that.

Study session on a complete poem by Amichai. I turned the page the correct way up after a few moments :) It's lovely to be sufficiently a beginner to do that in public. And for it not to matter in the slightest, because we were all keen, passionate, willing to be swept along, spoken to, confused, appreciative, sharing interpretations, looking at the grammar, looking at the use of the hyphen, simply being in the same room as someone who read the whole poem to us, twice :)

I was unnerved by the complete absence of Arabic, Arabs, that whole culture in the poem. It was a very loud absence. As soon as I realised this I felt oddly silenced in the room, because I could not have mentioned this without causing all sorts of difficulties. Maybe not, but *I* did not have any capability to put this into words and it didn't seem relevant anyway. Though of course it is profoundly relevant. Everything is relevant to reading a poem. A poem leads us all back into ourselves and right into each other. Instantly. Just like that, boom. Detail by detail. Disclosure by disclosure.

More Amichai in another session on the first issue of Modern Poetry in Translation from 50 years ago. 1966. So I was 2 :) All these wonderful people writing and working, giving themselves to the future. We made our own tags for our choices of poem. I chose 3 which jumped out at me. Different styles of tag emerged from my time with each of them.

I want to describe the feeling of doing that. I sat next to another woman on some steps in the sunshine in a quad. It was a bit cold, but very sunny. There wasn't much time, but I knew I had to flick through and find my choice without actually reading any of the poems. It's like moving forwards with no resistance, not lost, but not found either. Almost no longer breathing, a brain cell high, heavenly unknowing, loose, unattached.

I need my own time late at night so I am leaving Facebook at 10, 10.30 or 11pm. Most unlike me. It means I am not available for late night chats which are of course the best. In time that will happen, but not now. Same for pillow talk from 6am onwards. I so look forward to that. Be patient.

What else? My Arabic Study Group on Facebook is 'closed' now, for personal reasons. It had been 'public'. I need that privacy. Which of course is entirely negated by this blog... no logic round here.

What is it like giving myself permission to talk/write in English? I know only fluent English speakers can read this flood of stretched words. No google translate will cope properly. This level is my English level. My Arabic level is totally different, simplified, reduced, focused, tiny images, one event, make the words stay on that one topic, use 'wa' , 'fa' and 'innahu' all the time, run on to a close thought, or rather fact. All I can do are facts in Arabic, things which encapsulate all that is happening, somehow express something which matters, which can console me for not having any voice beyond the few nouns and verbs I know.

How awful has it been having no English and not even being able to write about it? Dreadful, pointless, so so lonely, not knowing anyone else who is struggling with this hopeful, but hopeless task or mission, using my actual life as my tool for learning. All I could do is write incoherent draft posts in English. Also writing my diary in endless lines of poetry in English.

Worse, if that's possible, is realising that by asking someone else to correct my stuff I'd then be read by that actual person, so the need to write by then was greater, but the willingness was even smaller. Total confusion and shyness. I hit on a plan to write a more neutral series based on my father, but events overtook me, I had to write from my deepest self, even if it did get sent off to be read and corrected. If that's what I wanted, I certainly got it. I have only pulled one post, ironically the only one with no errors.

Has writing in Arabic helped me? Well, I launch into French and Hebrew when I feel like it. I don't send those for correction. I think it's too early to tell. I know I can find simple words to write about absolutely anything now, all I have to do is go deeper and find the simplest and truest facts and then I have the words I need for that. I have to listen to my heart, ask myself what matters the absolute most to me, what I have to write, then I write those few phrases, then post them. I collect several then send them for correction later. The very most personal one I sent for correction before posting and then I only posted the correct and smoothed out version, not my original with mistakes. I was prepared to wait for that.

The searching and listening to my heart is what Arabic has given me. A restriction which has given me my inner self.

See, I love constraints, a poetry concept. Freely chosen, temporary, various.

One last thing, I need to say such a big thank you to my many teachers:

There was a photo of a meadow here, but the link has been cut.



Saturday 11 June 2016

الكتب للأطفال, مكتوب من الكاتب بلجيكي ’أرجي’



  هل هذه الكتابان من بيت والداني؟
    .أنا وأخي كنّا نحبّ القصص من أرجي.
 Hergé  =

Thursday 9 June 2016

yep - Language survey for bilingual+ native Arabic speakers

i can laugh about the problems in this post. at least they don't get any worse. the grammar quirks are just the price for entry! no way round or over them, just accept them.

https://arabizi.wordpress.com/2011/09/01/learning-arabic-robert-lane-greenes-perspective/

and here is a survey for native arabic speakers who are also bi-, tri-, or multi- lingual

https://arabizi.wordpress.com/2016/06/06/please-take-part-in-my-survey-for-arabic-speaking-bilinguals/

Tuesday 7 June 2016

Nearly all the Arabic-related links I have read/glanced at/looked at in the past 24 hours

http://aljadid.com/content/syria-and-politics-personal-sadness

http://levant.tv/index.php/videos/female-sexuality-in-the-middle-east/ - sex and Levant TV, full of other topics too

http://www.shelf-awareness.com/issue.html?issue=2748#m32350 - Ghareeb Iskander - poet

https://ar.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B5%D9%81%D8%AD%D8%A9_%D8%A7%D9%84%D8%B1%D8%A6%D9%8A%D8%B3%D9%8A%D8%A9 - Arabic wikipedia

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=yalla%20bye - urban dictionary, not in Arabic, so I can read it!

https://mikediboll.wordpress.com/ a blast from the past, a name from twitter in the middle of the night, when following Bahrain

http://www.genocideinsyria.org/#!subscribe-get-campaign-updates/od2eu - this looks familiar, I'm sure I'm on their mailing list already

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2016/06/05/the-west-should-ignore-assad-and-drop-food-to-starving-syria-by/ news on Syria via facebook

http://www.dailystar.com.lb/News/Middle-East/2016/Jun-06/355622-un-backpedals-on-syria-airdrops.ashx from Twitter, aid delivery methods air vs trucks

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p03w5zzp - 2nd June 2016 report on the first delivery of aid to Daraya

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wlyqz3EOwE film on the Al Shandahar cafe on Al Mutannabi Street in Baghdad, from Beau Beausoleil's facebook group, have I shared it to my group already?

Part of a Master's thesis on Laroui a Moroccan intellectual by a facebook friend of mine on my Arabic Study Group - I did corrections on the first 7 paragraphs as an experiment for him.

chrome-extension://bpmcpldpdmajfigpchkicefoigmkfalc/views/app.html UN UPR 2nd cycle - spreadsheet gives provisional dates for submissions from the Syrian government July 25th 2016 and for the review session itself Oct/Nov 2016

http://en.alkarama.org/reports/2086-syria-universal-periodic-review-2016-alkarama-s-submission-to-state-s-upr ngo submission from alkarama

https://www.frontlinedefenders.org/en/statement-report/upr-submission-syria ngo submission from front line defenders

http://wilpf.org/report-release-violations-against-women-in-syria-and-the-disproportionate-impact-of-the-conflict-on-them-ngo-summary-report-for-the-universal-periodic-review-of-syria/ ngo submission from wilpf = Women's International League for Peace and Freedom

http://www.wordswithoutborders.org/dispatches/article/the-translator-relay-sholeh-wolpe?src=fb oh well this is all about translation from Persian/Farsi into English, but it still has all the same list of names I recognise from the English language poetry world and the Middle Easy, East! Even mentions the Uuiversity of Iowa, which offered an online poetry course I went on after the University of Pennsylvania's ModPo and before Jo Bell's 52.

https://arabbabadotorg.wordpress.com/2016/06/07/its-ramadan/ from the side of my blog

Wednesday 1 June 2016

Feeling like a stone

So here is a photo of a beautiful big rock near where I live. It had immature helicopters on it from the sycamore trees above it, plus small pieces of sunlight.

Writing in Arabic has not helped, so I shall have a break until I have finished the next thing I want to post. I will probably regret this decision by midnight :) That's in 1 hour.



Pink - Try

Bruce Springsteen - Streets of Philadelphia

Saturday 28 May 2016

حقول - صباحاً


...

أصنع جماعة الجديدة الشعر أسبوعية في كدلنتن


Wednesday 18 May 2016

معضمية الشام - 'moonlight never sees us' - גבר מדבר אלינו אודות המצור בעיר דמשק ליד

رجل يتكلمنا عن حصار في الريف دمشق

a man speaks to us of the seige/blockade of some areas around Damascus

...

a man - גבר - gbir?

speaks to us - מדבר אלינו - mdbr ali nu ?

about the seige - אודות המצור - an dukh ha mtzur ?

in the town - בעיר - bi 'air ?

near damascus - דמשק ליד - damashk lid?

גבר
מדבר אלינו
אודות המצור
בעיר
דמשק ליד

...

a poem - قصيدة - שיר - ١/٥/٢٠١٦ - من دني قبني - shir

Tuesday 17 May 2016

إصبع قدمي وركبتي الآن

  ... إصبع قدمي وركبتي الآن

مند أسبوع ونسف كنت سعية ورقصت في شقتي وثم إصبع قدمي مكسر قليلا!

ويوم الاحد لعبت مع بنات صغيرة مع الماء واليوم ركبتي مكسر أيضاً! لا إستطيع أن أقود الآن!

إصبع قدمي - my toe

 وركبتي - my knee

لا إستطيع - I can't


Sunday 15 May 2016

ليلاّ - أكثم الواني

ليلاّ


عندما أشاهد هذا الفيلم أفكر عن القيادة من بلوبري إلى إيست حجبورن كل يوم, يعني عن الوقت في سيارتي مع الموسيقى وتلال الريف ليلاّ. 

وأذكر  صباح الأخير في بيتي, والخوف, والسرعة, والباب الأكبر هو فتح. ثمً سيارتي مع كل شي فيها. 

concentration
focus
speed
calmness
certainty







Saturday 14 May 2016

أتكلمني بللغة العربية أحياناّ, يعني في رأيسي.

اليوم أمشي مع قموسي منني في شوارع  فأستطيع أن أوجد الكلمات.

Friday 13 May 2016

جرايسن باري


مدينة درحم, مدينة جامعتي و مدينة عائلة أمً زوجي. إنها المدينة هذا الفيلم من الفنان جرايسن باري - ’ال مان’ أو ’رجل بالكامل’. 

Tuesday 26 April 2016

Just for once it has to be in English 24/4/2016 very late

...

Everything is as upside down as it could possibly be, without any family illnesses. Every day brings new shocks.

I even gave away my body today, at the moment on the DVLA site where I decided to offer them any parts of my body for others, no restrictions. That is even more shocking than moving my stack of Arabic books and papers off my desk on Friday morning, for who knows how long. Boom, gone.

I had always assumed I would remain in one piece, but the concept of parts being separated and having new lives in others, going into a new future is a matter for my actual self. It's far more close to me than being pregnant. Nothing prepared me for that. I thought I was just changing my address online for my driving licence.

My friend has someone's liver inside her, so she has some of his tastes. I wonder which of my loves will migrate with me to someone new? Talk about utter honesty and being known, she has abandoned herself to his body, in order to love, I mean live, but of course it means that too.

I have missed writing here so so much. But different things come out in Arabic, the simplest, barest, most necessary words, all wrong too, but I can't help that.

...

Listening to this song for the nth time. Ya El Midan. It was the Pearl Roundabout which did it for me. Simply reading about the little tents where lawyers sat together and talked. The guy at the hospital morgue gesturing at his friends who had just been shot in their sleep around him. Freedom and dignity. The consequences take a lifetime. Not reaching out for that would take a lifetime too.

...

And now backache, the ribs at the front ache too when I breathe in deeply, what is going on?

...

2 more new songs

Fragile

Alesso



Thursday 14 April 2016

في بيتي القديم - أم كلثوم - أنت عمري


في بيتي القديم كنت أشعر سعيدة متى كنت إستمع الصوت الغسالة. والأن إبني ينام مع نفس الصوت في هذه الشقة. 


في بيتي القديم كنت أشعر سعيدة متى القطة في المطبخ معني. و الأن إبني ينام سلاماّ كثيراّ معني في الشقة, ليس في عملي اليوم.

...

أنت عمري


في بيتي القديم كنت أشعر بسعادة عندما كنت أستمع الى صوت الغسالة. والأن إبني ينام على نفس الصوت في هذه الشقة
في بيتي القديم كنت أشعر بسعادة عندما تكون القطة معي في المطبخ . و الأن إبني ينام بسلام معي في الشقة. ليس في عملي اليوم


...

Now I could use these corrected sentences as templates for saying anything which can fit into those grammatical relationships



Tuesday 5 April 2016

حجارة المكسورة

أحب اللعب مع بنات الصغيرة في حديقتنا. نتكلم ونكتب على أرض الحجري مع حجارة المكسورة. وأكتب إسمي - 
 وسارة وأكتب حروف العربية من ا حتى غ, ثم أرسم شبكة العناكب Sarah.

حجري - stony

حجارة - rocks

شبكة العناكب - spider's web, the web of a spider

...

corrected version:

أحب اللعب مع البنات الصغيرات في حديقتنا, نتكلم ونكتب على الأرض الحجرية بالحجارة المكسورة. أكتب اسمي سارة واكتب الحروف العربية من ا حتى غ ثم أرسم شبكة عناكب.

البنات الصغيرات - the little girls

 الأرض الحجرية - ground is feminine, so put feminine ending on adjective
the stony ground needs 2 alif lam

بالحجارة - writing *with* broken rocks

الحروف العربية - again, add alif lam, my corrector likes lots of alif lam

شبكة عناكب - here it's different and 'a spider's web' doesn't need any alif lam.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...